|
When someone we care about deeply dies, we naturally want to remember them in a way which is appropriate and dignified. Often this means placing a memorial at the place where they are buried.
This leaflet helps to explain how to place a memorial, including those for ashes, in the Churchyard at St Peter’s Church, Hednesford.
The Churchyard
The Churchyard is owned by the church. This means that the people who worship there have to make sure the churchyard is maintained and find the money to do so. There are many regulations which lay down how we should do it. Some matters are the responsibility of the church. Some are the responsibility of the vicar. Often their purpose is to ensure that due respect is paid to graves and the memory of those who are buried there.
In the past it was common for churches to leave each grave to be tended by relatives. What this usually meant was that the more recent graves would be kept tidy but over time families would move away or die out and most graves got overgrown. Today most people expect graveyards to be kept tidy and safe. This means that the church must employ someone to mow the grass and to do whatever else needs doing.
Churchyards are difficult to mow because they are never flat. Mounds, kerbstones and bushes make it harder still. This is why some things, like kerbstones, which used to be allowed, are not allowed today. It may seem disappointing to be told that a particular kind of memorial is not allowed, but the regulations have to be fair to everyone, and most people would rather see a tidy churchyard even if it means restrictions on what can be done.
Memorials
Putting any kind of memorial in the churchyard, or even altering a memorial that is already there, is covered by regulations. Whether you want to erect a headstone or wooden cross, place a plaque in the ground, add an inscription, or install a receptacle for a vase or do anything else with respect to a place where someone is buried, there is a procedure to follow. You must fill out an application form. When choosing a memorial take your time. Discuss it with other members of your family. Make your decision about what you think is best when you are ready and not before. Talk to the vicar before you fill out the application form if you need to.
You must complete two blue application forms with the assistance of a stonemason. We recommend that you approach at least two different stonemasons for quotes. If you wish we can recommend a stonemason to you. When the forms have been completed you or your stonemason should send them with the appropriate fees and any accompanying information to the vicar. The church fees will vary depending on the type of memorial you are having. Your stonemason will advise about this or you may contact the vicar. Your stonemason will not be allowed to start any work until the application forms have been signed by the vicar and returned to you. You must complete the memorial application forms for all kinds or memorial and alterations to existing memorials.
With the forms come covering sheets which explain which kinds of stone are allowed and other regulations explaining what is permissible. We encourage a variety of stones and designs however the reason for some restrictions is to avoid having some stones which do not blend with the appearance of the churchyard. To help decide what might be appropriate it is a good idea to take a walk around the churchyard and consider what type and design or stone would blend in as well as would make fitting memorial. Headstones should be polished only on the front where the inscription is. Surfaces that are not polished gradually attract lichen. Over time they slightly change their appearance and this helps them to blend in with the environment.
Please note that if you are having any carving of any kind on the stone that this must be made clear on your application which should also explain the reasons why a particular symbol or image is of relevance to the deceased. Always think very carefully about the wording for any inscription. Please include with your application a letter and/or diagram explaining any part of your application. If you are making an alteration to an existing memorial or adding an inscription this should be made clear with your application.
Keeping the churchyard looking dignified and attractive is very costly both in time and money. This is why extra ornaments, kerbs, statues and chippings are not permitted. Such things make mowing difficult and also can be a health and safety issue for those working to keep the churchyard tidy.
When the vicar has signed your application and given you permission to go ahead with the work do not make any alterations to the agreed design of your memorial. If the memorial that you place in the churchyard is different in any way to the one that you applied for you may be asked to remove it. If anything on your application is unclear or if for any reason the vicar does not give permission for your application you will be contacted about it. If the vicar decides that he/she can not agree to the memorial you wish to have then you may ask the vicar to refer his/her decision to the Archdeacon. If the Archdeacon is unwilling to give a decision the final authority lies with the Chancellor of the Diocese.
Before a headstone is erected you need to allow time for the ground to settle. Usually it is a good idea to leave the ground for at least six months.
The Grave or Burial Place
When you buy a headstone or any other memorial from the stonemason it belongs to you. Part of the cost is a fee which goes to the church. This fee is for permission to place the memorial on land which belongs to the church.
Sometimes after a funeral when a grave has been filled in there is a mound of earth on top. This mound only has one purpose; to fill in the hole as the earth settles down over the next few months. The
relatives do not own the mound, it is just part of the churchyard. The church allows enough time for the ground to settle and then flattens it or adds more earth to make it level so that the grass can be mowed.
If for any reason a memorial becomes unsafe we may inform you of this. It is your responsibility to make it safe.
Flowers
The usual arrangement for flowers is to incorporate a vase with the memorial. If it does not have a receptacle for a vase, you can usually have one added. Planting bushes or flowers on a place where someone is buried is not allowed, as this would prevent mowing. Artificial flowers are not allowed as they collect dirt and soon make the burial place look neglected. Exceptions are sometimes made such as at Remembrance Sunday.
Dead flowers have to be removed. If you bring flowers it is best if you take them away when the time comes. If you leave them eventually somebody will see the dead flowers and remove them. Dead flowers make a churchyard look uncared for and volunteers who help tidy up run the risk of causing offence when they throw things away. If possible please take any rubbish away with you or use the large refuse bins in the churchyard.
A Fitting Memorial
The Church Parish of Hednesford does its best to make sure the churchyard is a worthy place for people to remember the lives of those who have died and give thanks to God for them. To achieve this it depends on voluntary as well as paid support. We value the care taken by relatives to tend graves and welcome donations and offers to help with general maintenance.
Revd David Buck Tel 01543 426954
The Vicarage,
Church Hill,
Hednesford,
Cannock,
WS12 1BD
|